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Turn Potential Conflicts Into Opportunities to Connect
When I saw my dear friend, Daniel, walking down the hall toward me that morning I smiled and held up the book I’d gotten for him. When Daniel saw me he looked stricken. Then he quickly wheeled around and shot into the men’s room. Deeply hurt, I avoided him for several weeks until his sister […] -
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Turn Potential Conflicts Into Opportunities to Connect
When I saw my dear friend, Daniel, walking down the hall toward me that morning I smiled and held up the book I’d gotten for him. When Daniel saw me he looked stricken. Then he quickly wheeled around and shot into the men’s room. Deeply hurt, I avoided him for several weeks until his sister […] -
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Ways to Forge a Bond With Others
“I had a doorbell moment this week,” Patricia said to Tracy. Both have sons serving in the same Marine unit in Iraq. She is describing the fear that grabs her the moment her doorbell rings unexpectedly, thinking that the officer on the other side has come to tell her that her son is dead. Tracy understands. Hint One: Through shared experience, expressed aloud, we adopt “shorthand” expressions and feel understood, closer and often even comforted. When Tracy’s son, Derrick was deployed, she knew that those who would most understand her feelings were other mothers in the same situation so she… -
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Ways to Forge a Bond With Others
“I had a doorbell moment this week,” Patricia said to Tracy. Both have sons serving in the same Marine unit in Iraq. She is describing the fear that grabs her the moment her doorbell rings unexpectedly, thinking that the officer on the other side has come to tell her that her son is dead. Tracy […] -
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Ways to Forge a Bond With Others
“I had a doorbell moment this week,” Patricia said to Tracy. Both have sons serving in the same Marine unit in Iraq. She is describing the fear that grabs her the moment her doorbell rings unexpectedly, thinking that the officer on the other side has come to tell her that her son is dead. Tracy […] -
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What We Don’t Intend to Reveal Can be More Revealing
Like many photographers before him, Richard Zaltman was visiting remote areas of the world to capture images of people living lives far removed from those in the United States. Here’s what made his experience different. One morning, while walking through an isolated village in Bhutan, he suddenly got the idea of turning his camera over to the locals to see what they would consider significant enough to show others about themselves. Later, when he looked at all their pictures, he noticed that most of the photos cut off people’s feet. “At first, I thought the villagers had just aimed wrong,”… -
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Who Packed Your Parachute?
Charles Plumb was a U.S. Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent six years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now speaks on the lessons learned from that experience. One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, “You’re Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. “You were shot down!” “How in the world did you… -
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Make Your Praise More Memorable, Widely Shared and Long Lasting
My client, the CFO of a Berlin-based maker of wireless portal equipment had a rugged yet very successful third year of operation where all employees voluntarily worked long hours. Part of the way he wanted to collectively celebrate the company’s success was to hand out ten awards for different kinds of contributions. Yet, in addition to the usual way of celebrating the winners at an on-site company gathering he got an idea about how to make the recognition matter even more deeply felt and widely heard and shared. Here’s how. He confidentially spoke with a close working colleague of each… -
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Why Re-Define Your Life Towards a Mutuality Mindset?
Who Are You Becoming? After winning several music awards one year, Carlos Santana was asked by an eager young entertainment reporter, how he felt about “this belated recognition after so many years as a professional musician.” In an apparent non sequitur, Santana smiled warmly and replied, “I am becoming the people I love,” to which the reporter responded, “But what does that have to do with the awards?” Santana explained, “To a greater degree over time, these friends, musicians or not, seem to infuse my music and my life. And my friends say the same has happening to them.” Then,…
