Tagged: connecting Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • feedwordpress 19:53:52 on 2017/12/18 Permalink
    Tags: , civil conversations, conflict resolution, connecting, Crucial Conversations, Don Lindsay, Nick Morgan, Thomas Huxley, triangle talk   

    Disagree? Ways to Keep Talking Instead of Arguing 

    He takes a stupid stand. (Translation: he hit my hot button.) My first response is to dislike him. (Apparently that’s a universal reaction.) My distaste shows on my face and in my tone, despite my attempt to cover my feelings in a cloak of civility. Even friends or sympathetic bystanders take a psychic step back. Naturally he reacts in one of two ways: Stepping Back (saying little, going blank-faced, silent or even walking away) or Escalating Up (counter-attacking, speaking louder, standing closer). It’s instinctual – beyond our conscious choice. These are rapid, thin slices of gut reactions and responses. The…
  • feedwordpress 00:36:22 on 2017/11/13 Permalink
    Tags: , connecting,   

    Four Traits for Becoming More Valued, Visible and Frequently Quoted Ally 

    As an employee one of the best ways to grow your personal brand is to strengthen relationships with your organization’s key stakeholders and unexpected outside allies. Here are four methods to enable you to become a valued ally: 1. To prove you can actually be helpful to a customer or other key stakeholder to the firm – and thus a valued ally – adopt the Triangle Talk approach to connecting with others: A. You B. Me C Us First address one of their specific needs or interests, then cite exactly how you can support that interest, and then ask if…
  • feedwordpress 22:22:59 on 2017/08/17 Permalink
    Tags: , , connecting,   

    What We Don’t Intend to Reveal Can be More Revealing 

    Like many photographers before him, Richard Zaltman was visiting remote areas of the world to capture images of people living lives far removed from those in the United States. Here’s what made his experience different. One morning, while walking through an isolated village in Bhutan, he suddenly got the idea of turning his camera over to the locals to see what they would consider significant enough to show others about themselves. Later, when he looked at all their pictures, he noticed that most of the photos cut off people’s feet. “At first, I thought the villagers had just aimed wrong,”…
  • feedwordpress 19:17:02 on 2017/07/20 Permalink
    Tags: , , connecting, John le Carre, , , ,   

    What I Ultimately Learned From My Mortifying Mistake 

    To this day I’m mortified when I see a box of chocolates. Perhaps sharing this story may save you from embarrassing yourself in a similar way. I was in the Antwerp airport, heading back to San Francisco. Before settling into a seat at my gate I bought two indulgences for the flight home, John LeCarre’s Our Kind of Traitor, and a box of Pierre Marcolini truffles, one of the most popular brands in Europe. Within minutes I was swept into LeCarre’s masterful spy mystery. But I promised myself I would savor my truffles, eating each one slowly. At some point…
  • feedwordpress 23:06:17 on 2017/02/15 Permalink
    Tags: connecting, Moving From Me to We, , Mutuality Matters More   

    Actionable Insights About the Power of Mutuality Mindset 

    Ready to live a more accomplished, adventuresome and meaningful life with others? Here are some actionable tips from Mutuality Matters that may move you to adopt that mindset: Adopt This Counterintuitive Way To Be Well-Liked One of the biggest misconceptions about connecting is seeking, first, to be liked. In fact, the counterintuitive way to get someone to like you is in knowing this core truth: If they like the way they feel when around you, they will like you. In fact, they will project onto you the character traits they most like in others, even if you have not yet…
  • feedwordpress 21:25:54 on 2016/08/28 Permalink
    Tags: Carlos Santana, connecting, , , , opportunity   

    Why Re-Define Your Life Towards a Mutuality Mindset? 

    Who Are You Becoming? After winning several music awards one year, Carlos Santana was asked by an eager young entertainment reporter, how he felt about “this belated recognition after so many years as a professional musician.” In an apparent non sequitur, Santana smiled warmly and replied, “I am becoming the people I love,” to which the reporter responded, “But what does that have to do with the awards?” Santana explained, “To a greater degree over time, these friends, musicians or not, seem to infuse my music and my life. And my friends say the same has happening to them.” Then,…
  • feedwordpress 20:17:19 on 2016/07/23 Permalink
    Tags: , , connecting, Daniel Kahneman, Emrah Duzel, Maria Popova, , , Patrick Tucker, Steve Nguyen, Susan Cain   

    Fertilize Your Combinatorial Creativity by Connecting with Diverse Individuals 

    If successful scientists “have often been people with wide interests,” as Cambridge University professor William Ian Beardmore Beveridge concluded in The Art of Scientific Investigation, then you, too, might make more breakthroughs by seeking more varied people and experiences. Innovation most often happens when you adapt an idea from one domain into a new one, and that’s most likely to happen when you engage with people from different professions, backgrounds, industries, ages and so on. As Brain Pickings’ Maria Popova suggests, we need combinatorial creativity to have more experiences so we can connect the dots, cross-pollinate. Like LEGO building blocks,…
  • feedwordpress 22:15:49 on 2016/04/11 Permalink
    Tags: , connecting, , , ,   

    Who Amongst Us Feels Powerful And How Can We Tell? 

    In a study I dub “Are you powerful or not?” guess what category you might fall into? At Northwestern and Stanford, here’s what happened. Two professors, Adam Galinsky, Professor of Ethics & Decision Management, Northwestern University and Joe Magee, of the Wagner Graduate School of Public Service at NYU, divided undergrads into two groups. One group was primed to feel powerful. They were asked to write about a situation in which they had authority over another individual. The members of the second group were set up to feel subordinate. They were asked to write about a situation in which they…
  • feedwordpress 18:44:40 on 2016/04/11 Permalink
    Tags: , connecting,   

    Accomplish More by Being Frequently Quoted & Deeply Connected 

    Are you quotAble? Or do people stop listening before you stop talking? Being heard and frequently quoted is essential to attracting more opportunities and friendships. Without that talent you may be rich, smart, well-connected, well-intentioned and hardworking yet you are likely to lose to the person who verbally paints a more compelling and relevant picture, in-person or in writing. Two intertwined goals to consider: 1. To become the top-of-mind choice in your profession or market 2. Become a favorite subject matter expert for your key media Method: Make your key messages almost as vital as oxygen. It is deceptively simple.…
  • feedwordpress 22:19:49 on 2016/04/01 Permalink
    Tags: , , , connecting, ,   

    How To Be Liked and Respected 

    It’s probably no surprise to you that we most admire those who exude the right balance of strength and warmth, even if the notion runs counter to Machiavelli’s famous view that, “It is better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both.” Like to learn how? If you’re a woman or non-white this capacity is especially vital according Compelling People co-authors John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut. For example, they discovered that Hillary Clinton “has been the butt of more jokes than any other human being, living or dead.” How Do Leaders Rate on the Warmth/Strength Scale? Enter the name in…
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