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Six Ways to Cultivate a Sense of Mutuality With Others
1. Two Ways to Turn an Insult Into Opportunity to Bring Out Their Better Side • In Split-Second Persuasion, Kevin Dutton recalls a story in a London newspaper of “an elderly Afro-Caribbean man traveling home from work on a bus. At one bus stop a drunk guy got on and couldn’t find a seat. ‘Get up, you fat black nigger bastard!’ he shouted at the man. ‘You calling me fat?’ responded the man. The bus erupted with laughter, causing the drunk guy to stomp off the bus and the responder to attract admiration and support. “Disaster averted in just four… -
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What Makes Us Laugh?
Here are some quick, sometimes surprising clues. All Jokes Come Down to One of Four Themes Anywhere in the world, all jokes can be reduced to just one of these themes, according to professor Richard Wiseman, a British psychologist who, via his LaughLab, conducted mass-participation experiments about what we think is funny. (See * below.) Also see what was voted as the funniest joke in the world in 2002. What’s the Funniest Animal? Wiseman also found that if you insert different animal names into the same joke, one animal evokes more laughter than any others. Guess which animal? (See **… -
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What Captures Our Attention Tends to Control Our Life
Several years ago, Disney World executives were wondering what most captured the attention of toddlers and infants at their theme park and their main resort in Orlando, Florida. After all, if they imprinted positive memories in kids, they might embed a lifelong loyalty to their brand. Consequently they hired me and a cultural anthropologist to observe guests as they passed through and paused in the resort lobby, seeing murals, carpets, animated creatures, sweet-smelling snacks, colorful toys and more. It was planned as a weeklong study. But after only a couple of hours of close observation, we realized that what most… -
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See How Others Successfully Champion Their Ideas
Want to successfully champion ideas and spur apt collective action with others at work and home? Read Originals by New York Times op-ed writer and popular Wharton psychology professor, Adam Grant to get the answers to these questions and take this 15-question quiz. Q. Assuming that parents decide to give children the freedom to be original, what does it take to foster a sense of right and wrong? Hints: Timing and language are vital: when parents should talk about doing the right thing and the wording should they use when they ask their child to do the right thing. Pages… -
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Ready to Turn the Page to the Next Chapter of the Life You Want to Live Now?
Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a blogger with the pseudonym Belle de Jour had a backstory worthy of a movie script. In fact it was turned into a Showtime TV series. She wanted to have a satisfying next chapter of her life story so she wrote about it. You see, in real life, she was “a respected specialist in developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology.” Few of us lead a startling double life like her yet you, too, may want to play a new role in your life story, perhaps revealing some largely hidden facets to your character… -
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How Helpfulness Wins Hearts and Sales
Taxi Mike, Geek Squad and Vanderbilt University Medical Center take the same successful approach to stand out from their competition, and you can too. Like you, they realize that traditional selling is dead in our digital world. Potential buyers can quickly compare products, as Daniel Pink eloquently suggests in To Sell is Human. Yet, unlike these three very different organizations, surprisingly few others have turned this truth into an opportunity to become the top-of-mind choice for their kind of customers. What’s their secret? They understand that extremely relevant helpfulness is not only the most human way to attract customers but… -
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How To Be Liked and Respected
It’s probably no surprise to you that we most admire those who exude the right balance of strength and warmth, even if the notion runs counter to Machiavelli’s famous view that, “It is better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both.” Like to learn how? If you’re a woman or non-white this capacity is especially vital according Compelling People co-authors John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut. For example, they discovered that Hillary Clinton “has been the butt of more jokes than any other human being, living or dead.” How Do Leaders Rate on the Warmth/Strength Scale? Enter the name in… -
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Scale Your Capacity to Sway Others
This headline, “Exec loses job after allegedly slapping toddler on plane,” is an anger-evoking true story that spread quickly. Understanding why can help you spread your ideas, piggybacking on certain kinds of momentous events. “High arousal” negative emotions such as anger or anxiety spur us to share messages with others, discovered Wharton professor Jonah Berger, author of Contagious. So do certain high-arousal positive emotions: awe, excitement and amusement or humor. Susan Boyle’s unexpected singing performance, for example, evoked awe and 100 million views within nine days. Even years later, she inked a movie deal. Les Miserables’ movie producer Cameron Mackintosh… -
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How Your Words Reveal Your Self-Image, World View and More
From our truthfulness to our acts of dominance or our mood we are enormously revealing to others – if they know how to recognize the content and style of our words. That’s what The Secret Life of Pronouns author and University of Texas psychologist James W. Pennebaker discovered and described in his TEDx talk. Who’s the most important person in the room? Find out by listening to the words people use: High status, confident people use fewer “I” words, not more. The higher one’s status in a situation, for example, the less one uses “I” in conversation. When people are feeling confident, they’re focused on the…
