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  • feedwordpress 21:03:58 on 2022/05/14 Permalink
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    tainted love 


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    One of the biggest movie stars of his generation accuses his ex-wife of slander. She wrote an op-ed in a national newspaper in which she presented herself as the victim of domestic abuse. This man is now claiming that she abused him, they are suing and countersuing each other, as their not-so-secret history as a couple turns inside out for public consumption. Meanwhile a psychologist on the stand floats the term “mutual abuse” which has other psychologists scratching their heads and saying that ‘mutual abuse’ is an oxymoron.

    Here’s another word: toxic.

    Every abusive relationship may be a toxic relationship, but is every toxic relationship an abusive one?

    An abusive relationship depends upon a pre-existing power imbalance that gives one partner the power to abuse in the first place. In other words, you abuse your partner by abusing the power you have over the partner. You do this systematically. You do this over time. An abusive relationship might or might not be physically violent, but it is always — always — a massive mindf*ck in which the abused partner begins to accept the abuser’s twisted version of reality for reality itself. Anything that contradicts that reality — including the abused partner’s own instincts that something is very and increasingly wrong — gets cut off at the root.

    A therapist once said to me that this culture makes it very difficult for a woman to be the more powerful partner in a relationship; if the woman has more money, for example, the man will assume superiority in other areas. As a therapist states to Ada Calhoun in the book WHY WE CAN’T SLEEP:

    Women who earn more than their husbands….actually do more housework in an effort to compensate for their higher earnings and the psychological drama involved.

    So if a young blonde actress was somehow able to establish and maintain power over a man twice her age — not to mention her body weight — with greater wealth, greater fame, and a considerably greater fanbase, that strikes me as impressive in a demented kind of way.

    She must have superpowers.

    Yet somehow I doubt it.

    Femme fatales and evil goddesses exist in fiction, in movies, in the public imagination; in real life, the women who get designated as either or both turn out to be as human as everybody else.

     
  • feedwordpress 16:28:34 on 2021/12/01 Permalink
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    Ten Ways To Become More Frequently Quoted 


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    Tell The Story That Tells The Story Dusk settled coolly over the misty emerald vineyards in Napa Valley one fall evening. Through the window, I gazed wistfully at a thin stream of bittersweet chocolate sauce a waiter was ladling high over a raspberry-colored cake a the table of a hand-holding couple, seated inside the big […]
     
  • feedwordpress 17:57:27 on 2021/10/21 Permalink
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    Deliver Presentations That Make Audiences Care 


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    In today’s time-starved, relationship-diminished world, audiences: – crave attention and connection with each other whether they meet virtually or in person. And we continue to: – Want ready-to-use ideas – AND be entertained. These goals are often at odds when preparing a presentation that will make people rave about one’s program long afterwards. Consequently, successful […]
     
  • feedwordpress 16:10:18 on 2021/10/04 Permalink
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    Living proof of the benefits of practicing a mutuality mindest 


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    Via University of Oregon Alumni Association: Kare Anderson graduated from the School of Journalism and Communication in 1971. The speaker and writer now lives in the Bay Area, where she runs the Say it Better Center, her vehicle for promoting mutuality and connectivity. “I believe in paths,” said Anderson. “The path I had, I was […]
     
  • feedwordpress 15:27:12 on 2021/09/27 Permalink
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    Build a Community That Becomes the Go-to Place for Your Customers 


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    Contrary to that Groucho Marx line, “I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member,” smart companies are creating online “clubs” or communities where most anyone want to join and can. Take AARP, for example. Before hitting 50, practically everybody gets a mailed invitation. On their site you find considerable free information […]
     
  • feedwordpress 15:47:12 on 2021/06/19 Permalink
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    17 Ways to Negotiate and Preserve Relationships 


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    My early mentor, the legendary decision scientist and author of numerous books, Howard Raiffa once said, “It is often easier to deal with someone who is acting like a jerk who knows what he wants than a seemingly pleasant person who doesn’t.” 1. Anticipate What You Want Out Of A Situation Before You Go Into […]
     
  • feedwordpress 15:37:13 on 2021/06/19 Permalink
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    Deliver Presentations That Make Audiences Care 


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    In today’s time-starved, relationship-diminished world, audiences: – crave attention and connection with each other when they meet virtually or in person. And we continue to: – Want ready-to-use ideas – AND be entertained. These goals are often at odds when preparing a presentation that will make people rave about one’s program long afterwards. Consequently, successful […]
     
  • feedwordpress 18:13:08 on 2021/02/28 Permalink
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    Complex Times Call for Connective Leaders 


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    The higher the technology in our world, the higher the human touch needed. The most sought-after leaders today are, by nature, connective. They become the glue that holds diverse people together around strong sweet spots of shared interest where each person knows why they are involved and what they bring to the table. Looking back […]
     
  • feedwordpress 19:02:49 on 2021/01/23 Permalink
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    Like to Play A Better Role in Your Storytelling? 


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    Are your most retold stories anchored by positively or negatively felt incidents? Those who are most resilient, energetic, caring, and involved with others tend to link their stories to redemptive themes. The role you most often play in the stories you tell reveals your view of the world, how friendly or hostile you are, and […]
     
  • feedwordpress 22:09:06 on 2021/01/21 Permalink
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    6 Ways to Enjoy Your Life More 


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    Some of our biggest inside battles involve changing habits to create a more meaningful, congenial life with others. Try six research-based tips for turning the page to the next chapter of the adventure story you are truly meant to live. “All of the significant battles are waged within the self,” wrote Sheldon Kopp. Some of […]
     
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